SWORN TO SECRECY

27th january 2010

Each time the word "Mother" is mentioned
I feel the pins behind my eyes
lump in the throat
And inane grin that I put on
to mask the fears

When we loose our mothers it is a mournful time.

When I lost mine I felt the
Hooves of White Wild Horses
They galloped over me as I laid
Then fled with the moment.
And I was sworn to secrecy

No mention more of it
What I am not supposed to say
No mention more of it
Lock it right away.

And when you ask me what secret
is worth all the secrecy and mystery
It  betrays .. I say
It will be the first secret I will have kept
From my infancy till now
And Now I shall never tell of it
NEVER no how.

Maybe in a tattoo or a poem or a song,
something will alert you to what went wrong

ABYSS

 8th January 2010

Once more into the Abyss dear friends

of tangled wires

and loose connections

missing the point

frustrated sighs

I want one thing and you don't see it,

Wont see it, Cant see it

I must accept that you experience me

as a mess

as a tangle of negativity and destruction

How many times have I seen your eyes

and heard your words

"you are killing my spirit"

"I am dying"

You used to say I saw the world through Rose tinted spectacles

And that it was time I faced the truth

That life is shit , that we are rubbish

that we are going nowhere.

"I'll go nowhere with you" I reply naively

 taking my heart from my mouth

One Moonlit Audi Car racing night

snaking the backroads of Suffolk

stalking some unknown prey, fleeing a show of madness

with your handbrake screech turn and halt .

I look to you with adoration and say

"I'll follow you to hell and back"

I was proud, this was my commitment to you.

MOANING IN THE GLOAMING

7th January 2012

Both Children cold on the outside

Disinterested on the inside

Each accuse me of my peculiar faults.

The heart on the sleeve,

The frown on the brow,

The complaint on the lip.

Each blames for their own peculiar traits,

The inability to achieve

because of lack of riches

which was their right

to have bestowed.

And so my own lessons come flapping in my face

back in my face, straight in my face.

A Moaning in the Gloaming,

There'sa wolf in the kitchen, 

A drudge in the bed,

Whilst computer screens burn holes 

On their childish psyches