HONESTY

02/06

1. Where will the honesty lie
2. When weeds do grow
3. and tangled stems
4. Searching for the light
5. Do blindly twist and turn
6. before they settle for the night
7. And where will the honesty lie
8. When genetic flowers spawn
9. And dance at inappropriate times
10. distilling fears in blossoms
11. Of unique beauty, some so small
12. Their presence sadly felt
13. for what a wayward tree
14. was built for these.
15. How damaged by the harvest
16. From the rapid plough
17. Have the seeds of the honesty bean
18. When the scent is scarce
19. And the trace of the flower lean.

Why lies the beauty when it comes to honesty?

Why lies the man as he begins the climb of the wretched tree?

DUST OF GOLD

9/82

A great Sleepishness 

Is Creeping through my legs and lungs. 

My mind is yawning 

Through lack of stimulation.

Searching for gold on the bottom of a stream

Only to be gathered up and sold 

For outrageous profit further up the line

I no longer want this job

And yet I can't drop out from my apprenticeship 

But for me it's dishonest to find the gold 

And then go through the motions of sifting

Merely to prove that it's not an easy job.

Because b then the gold hs lost it's worth for you

And you're already searching for the next.

I have a fear of being outspoken, of saying  

"Here! I've found it and I'm going. 

I'm not hanging around

The next piece is a time away,

And no amount of effort

In the same spot is going to bring it nearer."

WHAT NEXT?

Sit Quietly now and Ponder
On What Happens next.
These moments so delicately poised amid the whisperity
Miasma of all things mundane.
And soon a door to bang
The Phone to ring
The cat to miaeux
The Kettle to boil
The Bones to ache
The eyes to droop
The soil to disappear,
Frightened, Petrified,
In the corner of you internetting,
Interconnecting plans and
Interruptions of the days months
Year and into beyond
Stay silent for a brevity moment
A focus, a purpose, a meaning,
A Question "What Happens next?"

SWORN TO SECRECY

27th january 2010

Each time the word "Mother" is mentioned
I feel the pins behind my eyes
lump in the throat
And inane grin that I put on
to mask the fears

When we loose our mothers it is a mournful time.

When I lost mine I felt the
Hooves of White Wild Horses
They galloped over me as I laid
Then fled with the moment.
And I was sworn to secrecy

No mention more of it
What I am not supposed to say
No mention more of it
Lock it right away.

And when you ask me what secret
is worth all the secrecy and mystery
It  betrays .. I say
It will be the first secret I will have kept
From my infancy till now
And Now I shall never tell of it
NEVER no how.

Maybe in a tattoo or a poem or a song,
something will alert you to what went wrong

ABYSS

 8th January 2010

Once more into the Abyss dear friends

of tangled wires

and loose connections

missing the point

frustrated sighs

I want one thing and you don't see it,

Wont see it, Cant see it

I must accept that you experience me

as a mess

as a tangle of negativity and destruction

How many times have I seen your eyes

and heard your words

"you are killing my spirit"

"I am dying"

You used to say I saw the world through Rose tinted spectacles

And that it was time I faced the truth

That life is shit , that we are rubbish

that we are going nowhere.

"I'll go nowhere with you" I reply naively

 taking my heart from my mouth

One Moonlit Audi Car racing night

snaking the backroads of Suffolk

stalking some unknown prey, fleeing a show of madness

with your handbrake screech turn and halt .

I look to you with adoration and say

"I'll follow you to hell and back"

I was proud, this was my commitment to you.

MOANING IN THE GLOAMING

7th January 2012

Both Children cold on the outside

Disinterested on the inside

Each accuse me of my peculiar faults.

The heart on the sleeve,

The frown on the brow,

The complaint on the lip.

Each blames for their own peculiar traits,

The inability to achieve

because of lack of riches

which was their right

to have bestowed.

And so my own lessons come flapping in my face

back in my face, straight in my face.

A Moaning in the Gloaming,

There'sa wolf in the kitchen, 

A drudge in the bed,

Whilst computer screens burn holes 

On their childish psyches