LADDER (1980)

Don't think about what's going on
Above me,
And I'm on my way down fast.
Down, down, down the ladder,
Each rung looks better than the last

Down, down, down the ladder
Jumped up from the ground too quick
Didn't know what I was missing
So now I'm taking my pick
People up top've got too much worry
So I'm on my way down

And I'm in a hurry;
down, down down the ladder
Come back to the ground with a bang
Hit my head so soon forgot
The words of the song I just sang
Down, Down down the ladder
Boy I'm feeling bad,
That sure was
A spot of bad luck I had
Damn those people at the top there
Pushing and shoving at will
If it wasn't for their impatience
I'd be up there with them still.

Looking up gives me vertigo.

THIS DIDNT HAPPEN

Where am I ?

Where are you?

Who am I?

Who are you?

Why cant I find you ?

Why won't you make yourself known

Whats going to happen?

Will I find you soon?

Will I then feel better?

Will the questions go away?

Will I trust again in humans

Are we here again to stay?

Flick

I've seen the reel before they print the film
And its not my kind of flick.
I've seen them practicing their bits
And each one's trying to move me
I walked past the gates
didn't have a SHOW to pass  

No-one tried to stop me,
Walked past the prefabs
And the make-up tents,
Believed the stunt men 

(Thought they were real)
Showing off their tricks,
When I walked in they all turned to stare
Someone had a pencil of a kind,
A camera flash left me blind.. 

for a while
And there I am,
I'm holding typescripts

on screen

Some one's feeding me the lines

They want me to show it all

They say:

"If you want to get on babe

You have to learn to act 

(play the game)

You're not giving out at all"

I'm moved away and they carry on without me

Two stunt men spoiling for a fight

"Dig deep to your roots

And show us what you find

Bring out for all of us to see

If you want someone to hate

If you want to use a knife

Then babe just pretend its me

If you want to use a knife

Then babe just pretend its me."

I get confused, I try to walk away again

He takes me by the arm and shouts

Calls me a coward and a no good parasite

There's something dying inside me.

There's miles of land between me and the exit gate,

I have to strain my eyes to see

It looks as if I'm in another world

And I can't tell where's better

So I look at the reel before it's printed

I've got the future in my mind

I took a look at your movie

And it's not my kind.

TO HIM

 4/3/2000

One night I'll dream, 

You'll come to me with darkness as your veil 

And as I sleep 

You'll kiss my neck 

You'll come to me..my Male 

I'll dream you'll move in slowly 

From shoulder down to feet 

And as your heat waves start to spread 

Our bodies strain to meet. .... 

The Joy will be a silent joy 

With murmurs like the call 

Of a distant thousand creatures 

About to fly or fall. 

Our Union will be lengthy 

With no time to exchange the usual lovers pleasantries 

We'll keep the secret strange.

Father

Vigorously ignorant
as a child
I have the worlds riches;
Only I have no understanding of their values
And until such time as I do
Then shall I never posses them.
But in you, I entrust the agency of my child and have faith that you will guide me accordingly.
I apologise in advance and retrospect for any such action that might result in the loss of fortune either through willful intent, clandestine rumour or plain ignorance. I remain yours as you remain mine -Father.... your daughter.
Vivienne Elizabeth Pierette Bazille-Corbin

I FEEL A COLD CHILL (circa 79 )

I feel a cold chill run through my limbs 

As I, my heart and mind take leave 

Outside the season reflects my feelings 

Something beautiful is finished 

The dying is in itself romantic 

Something to be watched with wonder 

But the thought that soon everything will be bare, 

Open to the elements, 

No protection 

Makes me shudder 

The mornings hang a weight upon my eyes

The day passes cruelly, not giving me comfort

I try to concern myself with little things 

It's cold, cold, so cold, 

I can't get warm, 

The flame within me is dwindling, 

Is flickering 

It's cold so cold 

And the season changes. 

Nature, you are so experienced in this, 

I hope to learn to change so beautifully

And accept my fate.

AND YOU SLEPT

I gave birth 

And you slept 

I made food 

And you slept 

I did all the things a woman ought to do 

And through it all you closed your eyes 

And said you could sleep 

And you slept, through it all 

I met people, developed, and altered 

Through all this you slept 

When you woke at the end to find me changed 

You complained that I hadn't consulted you first 

And what was a friendship 

If not to grow on together 

Exchanging ideas and love 

What can I say...my darling? 

You slept like a baby, when without warning 

You woke and cried...like they do ...come to me.

ONE ACTION (20.10.79)

One action, one sound, one word 

Can be the trigger for a thousand different perceptions, 

So if you find you've changed your mind, 

You haven't, you've simply entered or perceived 

a new perception (dimension), 

One movement is ,therefore ,perfection itself 

It contains a facet, a hint of every level of understanding available. 

There is nothing that it fails to aknowledge, 

only you fail to receive. 

Receiving two or three 'perceptions' at a time leads to imbalance, confusion or even insanity

Because you are neither clear, (one) 

or full (cosmic) minded. 

Only when you perceive all, can you accept the few, 

the few are not acceptable, conceivable or assimilable without the all.

FULL BELLIED (1972)

Full bellied, 

half hearted , 

non mover. 

Such potential 

Yet so wasted 

What a body, lithe, waiting 

To show what it can do 

And you spoil it 

You and your mental slovenliness, 

Gives you a stiff neck and aching back. 

You sit in the middle of a circle. 

Every now and then pop to the edge 

Have a quick spin 

Does that excuse, or justify your lethargic? 

Sitting in the middle. 

But what of the middle space? 

Does it please you? 

And the visits to the periphery? 

Every now and then? 

Why do you sit there? 

No one forces you to occupy that space

You sit tight with the idea that soon you‘ll be more active 

That having stayed there for so long you‘ll be more active, 

You‘re wrong, 

You sit there because you‘re lazy 

You're lazy because you sit there